A One-Way Q&A

(Photo Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/opensourceway/5556249000)

First of all, I want to send a big thank you to every single person who read the first “Only Urkel Matters.”  It means the world to me that so many people were interested in my comeback to the blog game.

 

There will be another OUM on Friday.

That being said, the first blog might have left you with more questions than answers, so while you wait, allow me to illuminate you a bit:

Question 1:  What is this?

Answer:  Good question, you’re so smart!   This is a blog.

Question 2:  What is a blog?

Answer:  Excellent follow-up question, pal!  Wikipedia defines “blog” as “a discussion or informational website published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete, often informal diary-style text entries. Posts are typically displayed in reverse chronological order, so that the most recent post appears first, at the top of the web page.”

Question 3:  Wow!  So informative!  Is there anything that separates your blog from all the others?

Answer:  I feel like you and I are getting along swimmingly.  What separates my blog from all the other ones is content.  Unlike other blogs, mine is good.  Also, since blogs went out of style in roughly 2010, the fact that mine exists at all differentiates it wonderfully from the others.  Additionally, whereas most blogs tend to focus on one subject, mine is more eclectic in nature.  You will definitely get Family Matters recaps every Friday (barring unforeseen circumstances preventing this from happening somehow), but if that isn’t your cup of tea, you’ll also get additional blogs about whatever is running through my pretty little head.  I may decide to provide more weekly or monthly content as time goes on, but that will mostly depend on whether or not the amount of readers (henceforth known as the Evan Nation Army) continues to grow.  If you want more content, make sure you read and share as many posts as you can!

Question 4:  Wow, all of this sounds great!  I’m glad you’re back, but why did you ever leave in the first place?

Answer:  To be honest, I just didn’t have the time to provide the kind of content that my readers deserved, so I walked away.

Question 5:  That seems reasonable, even honorable really.  I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.  But wait, what changed?  If you didn’t have the time for this at twenty-four, why do you have the time now?

Answer:  Well, the quick answer to this question is that I joined the Active Duty Army at twenty-five, meaning I was working ten to fourteen-hour days.  Now I’m in the National Guard, so I’m only working those kind of hours a few days a month.  The rest of the time, your tax dollars pay for me to go to school.  You’re welcome for my service.

Question 6:  You’re so brave.  Wait, you said “quick answer.”

Answer:  You picked up on that?  I sure did.  But to be fair, you didn’t actually ask a question, so that really should have been marked, “Statement 1” instead of “Question 6.”  Make sure that your next question is also “Question 6.”

Question 6:  Okay, you pompous prick.  What’s the long answer to the question, “Why do you have the time now?”

Answer:  I feel like you’re pulling back, and the “long answer” might make you pull back more, especially since it’s not actually that long.  The real reason I have the time now is because I no longer spend eight to ten hours a day playing video games.  That’s right:  I have a crippling video game addiction.  I guess you could say “had,” but that would imply that I no longer want to play them.  I still very much want to play video games.  At night, I dream about playing video games.  It’s true that I quit playing them, but that’s the problem with being an addict, isn’t it?  I could fall off the wagon at any time.

Question 7:  Wow, what a dumb thing to be addicted to.  You pretty much suck.  Aren’t you embarrassed?

Answer:  Oh, for sure.  Of all the addictions to have, this might be the most embarrassing one that doesn’t involve weird sexual shit.  But I feel like being honest about your flaws is one of the most important things you can do.  

Question 8:  So, are there no other reasons you came back?

Answer:  There are a few more reasons, actually.  The first is that I missed writing.  I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I did a research essay for one of my classes this semester and I got a weird thrill from throwing in some random jokes and pop culture references.  That’s when I knew I had to get writing again.  The second reason is that a heart-warming number of people have been telling me to come back for a long while now.  I gave up on those people, but they didn’t give up on me, and that makes all the difference.

In truth, Evan Nation Army, you are the reason I’m back.  A few of you were passionate enough to urge me to start again over the last eight years.  Two of these instances stuck out to me:

The first happened in early September.  I was at a bar with my buddy Ryan, and a few members of his extended family showed up.  I was re-introduced to his Uncle Kevin, who I had met a few years back.  After conversing with Kevin for a bit, he mentioned a blog that I had wrote about his departed son, Matt.  I had only met Matt a few times, but the impact he made on me in that short time was immeasurable.  Kevin told me that he had that blog post framed on his wall.  That filled me with a sort of pride that I hadn’t felt in a long time, and it stuck in the back of my mind.

The second instance happened recently.  I had begun to toy with the idea of coming back (I was still playing video games, mind you, so there was still a large hurdle left for me to jump), and I sent some feelers out to a few good friends of mine.  One of these friends, Mike, sent me a text that put the nail in the blog comeback coffin: “It’s way, way, way overdue.”

He was right.  This was overdue.  And I promise that I’ll never leave you again.  At least until MLB the Show ’19 comes out.

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Edit: Previously, I had mistakenly called Ryan’s uncle “Phil.” Ryan does have an Uncle Phil, but he was not there that night.