Only Urkel Matters, Episode 2.22: Who's Your Daddy?
“Finding the Words”
Original Air Date: March 22, 1991
Last time on OUM: Judy and NLR learned that it’s not always right to take the credit for something that you did. Also, Eddie pretended that he learned that lesson too, but we all know that he didn’t.
If you missed the last recap, you can read it here. Any “Only Urkel Matters” that you may have missed can be found here.
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(Family Matters)
Cold Open:
Carl is in the kitchen, and he’s finishing up wrapping a present for Harriette when Hurricane Urkel rolls in. The Urkster asks Carl if it’s Harriette’s birthday, but Carl tells him that it’s an “I love you so much that I’m willing to spend more than I can afford” present. I love this, because it means that Carl learned his lesson in Episode 2.3, and is no longer taking Harriette for granted. In a show where lessons rarely stay learned, I appreciate this kind of continuity. After telling Steve that he got Harriette a crystal vase, Carl asks Urkel to put his finger on the present so that he can tie a ribbon around it. We all know where this is going:
(Family Matters)
As you can see, Steve smashes the window with the present, knocking down two mugs in the process. Only one of those mugs breaks, so coupled with the window and the crystal vase (which definitely broke, that shit is FRAGILE), Urkel has broken three more objects. This brings our SUBtotal to twenty-nine.
The Story:
Carl is in the living room, taking a long while to do one push-up:
(Family Matters)
Chicago’s finest, ladies and gentlemen. The doorbell rings, and the audience erupts into cheers when Carl opens the door, because legendary “That Guy” Paul Winfield is standing in the doorway. I know I usually list off a ton of things that our Those Guys/Girls have been in, but in this case, his IMDB page is so long that I’m just going to leave a link to it right here. The guy was in everything for almost fifty years. He’s only a few years past his prime here, and get ready, because he gives a hell of a performance. He and Carl go back and forth in a classic “You don’t remember me, do you?” scenario before Winfield reveals that his name is Jimmy Holmes, and that he is the father of Lee Hoxie Holmes, who Carl grew up with. Carl (who still doesn’t remember Jimmy or Lee) offers Jimmy a drink and heads off into the kitchen. Once there, he convinces Harriette to join him and Jimmy in the living room, so that she can ask him the “getting to know you” questions that Carl can’t. She agrees, and we get a strange transition back to the living room:
(Family Matters)
I know why they chose that transition (watching Carl and Harriette prepare the drinks wouldn’t have exactly been good television), but it’s still a bit jarring. Harriette starts questioning Jimmy, in a manner that is a bit too casual for Carl’s liking. Jimmy doesn’t notice, because he’s too busy indiscreetly staring at Harriette. Carl is too focused on his Mission Impossible reconnaissance mission to notice this, but Harriette does. Jimmy makes a couple of dumb excuses (“…this room is so lovely. I was wondering if you decorated it yourself”), but before Harriette can press him any further, Rachel enters. She’s carrying some bags of food, and Jimmy jumps at the chance to help carry them to the kitchen. He seems just as interested in her as he is in Harriette. By now, you should have a pretty good idea who this man is. You should at least have a better guess than the Winslows do.
Later, all the Winslows (and Urkel) are gathered together on the couch, listening to Jimmy tell them an obviously fake story about a time he was attacked by a grizzly bear in the Alaskan Wilderness. After he’s done, he prepares to head out to find a motel to sleep in (he even says “time to be hitting the old dusty trail” like Peter Griffin), but Harriette insists that he sleep on their couch for the night.
A short time later, Jimmy is preparing to go to sleep when Carl enters to ask him if he’d like some pie. Jimmy declines and then asks Carl if he really remembers him. Carl finally admits that he doesn’t, and that’s when Jimmy tells him that his name isn’t really Jimmy Holmes. He then reveals his secret, which you should definitely have guessed by now:
(Family Matters)
That’s right, Jimmy is Harriette and Rachel’s father. The studio audience wasn’t as smart as us, though. They were straight up shocked. After Jimmy sufficiently proves to Carl that he really is the father of Carl’s wife and sister-in-law, he goes on to explain why they think that he’s dead. After abandoning the girls when Harriette was three and Rachel was one, Jimmy had called and sent money for a while. One day, their mother instructed Jimmy to stop calling so that she could tell the girls that their father had died in Korea. She wanted the girls to think that their father was a hero, not a piece of garbage who abandoned them. This was some HEAVY shit, guys. It was spectacularly acted shit, too. RVJ very rarely gets to be in a scene with someone who can act on his level, so it’s such a treat to watch these two veteran actors interact. Jimmy tells Carl that he’s leaving in the morning, and that he won’t bother him ever again. Carl can’t believe that this guy (that he graciously let enter his home) could drop this kind of bomb and then walk away without telling his daughters who he really was. Jimmy (echoing his wife, in a rare moment of poignant writing on this show) tells Carl that he’d rather his children remember him as a hero than a heel. Carl can’t believe that after all these years, Jimmy is still acting like selfish prick.
Later, Laura is about to head out the door to go to work when she runs into Urkel, who’s gotten in touch with his inner animal:
(Family Matters)
I wonder what Steve would think if he knew that he was trying to win over the girl of his dreams by acting like her grandfather. How very Macklemore of him.
Later, Jimmy is finishing giving NLR a piggyback ride. Rachel tells Ritchie to stop bothering Jimmy, but NLR insists that they’re having fun. Jimmy concurs, but tells them that it’s about time that he rides off into the sunset. He really enjoys a good cowboy phrase. NLR tells him that he’s really going to miss him, and Jimmy almost bursts into tears. Harriette and Rachel look on fondly, and it’s so moving, especially since they don’t yet understand the true significance of the moment. To them, it’s just their sweet little boy showing affection to a long-forgotten friend of their patriarch (and not to his grandfather, as we know to be true). Carl enters and tells Jimmy that his cab has arrived, and Jimmy thanks his daughters for their hospitality. Carl gives him a stern look and says, “Last chance, Jimmy.” Jimmy hesitates, and then turns to tell his daughters the truth. After he breaks the news, Jo Marie Peyton and Telma Hopkins get a chance to show their “shocked” expressions, and they truly nail it. Unfortunately, their reaction is cut off short for some reason:
(Family Matters)
What’s with that? I’m not sure if this was the original edit, or if Hulu cut it for time, but whatever the reason, the actors were done a disservice. This reaction was good, but had they been given a bit more time, I feel like it would have been incredible. As it stands, it feels slightly lacking, like one of them had sneezed and the scene had to be cut a second or two early.
Conclusion:
Rachel finds Harriette on the porch/pantry (remember the pantry? Good times), and I like that as the younger sister, she’s less upset. She was only one when Jimmy left, after all. She never knew her father. It was Harriette who took his abandonment on the chin. Harriette is justifiably distraught by the news that her father left her on purpose. Rachel is understanding, but tries to convey to Harriette that if they choose to shut Jimmy out, they’ll just be making the same mistake that he did when he left them. At some point, Jimmy comes in, and he tells them that not a day went by that he didn’t think of his daughters, and that even though he wasn’t there for them then, he’s here for them now. It’s an incredibly raw and emotional scene, well-acted by all involved. Jimmy promises to be involved in their lives going forward. Unfortunately, we have the power to IMDB these sort of things, and so we know that we will never see Jimmy again (if I was Dashiell Driscoll, I’d tell you that it’s probably because he killed himself). The three of them come together into a group hug, and that ends a very good but not particularly funny episode of Family Matters.
Join me next time, when I break down Episode 2.23, “Skip to my Lieu.” Murtaugh, baybay!
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